Literal and figurative, mind.
The past couple weeks have been rife with research, exploring and developing writing tools.
Resurrecting old projects, that sat incomplete and untouched for too long, is a large contributor.
Foremost on my mind lately has been Red's story, the sequel (of sorts) to Blacker Than Black. Many of the dangling threads from the end of that tale have provided anchors and, if you will, belay lines, for the skeleton of what Red's story will become. It's been almost three years since I touched that 150k word tome. And I'm going to have to reread it because I never did finish fleshing out the timeline and character references as I intended.
Red's character is very easy to slip into. It's the plot that, as usual, will offer the greatest obstacles for me. I lean heavily toward character-driven stories. But there's means, motive, and opportunity floating around like flotsam and jetsam and it needs addressed. And also, nothing in the lives of Black, Red, or Blue is in any way simple or straightforward.
I'd been poking at the WIP with no name for much of September, but the impetus and drive died and sputtered out. I can't figure out why, so I shoved it to the back burner until I have the tools to do some more thorough in-depth exploration of characters and motivations. The timeline for that one is all but (vaguely) set, but that whole "unhappy ending holy shitballs," aspect that I've known was there all along, finally caught up with and depressed me.
Also how do I even market or sell something like that unless I've got the sequel all but finished when I do. So there's that, and that's a damn enormous load of (largely emotional) work. So Red's story seemed like a saving grace in comparison, despite the fact that I have been Avoiding It Like Ebola for quite some time now.
Face what you fear and write straight at it, huh? Well. It might seem strange, but my two greatest fears are (1) success, and (2) failure.
I'm just fucked either way.
So I may as well write the damned thing. And finish it. Here's me gritting my teeth and slogging back into it.