Back from my three-day mini-vacation. Which was (of course!) interrupted by an email with the cover art for Dark Edge of Honor. Not the final, just a proof… I'll share it as soon as I can, promise. My first order of the day, since the gears weren't turning enough to actually engage the muses at all, was to take a look at the promo content needed for the release.
Writing a promo blog entry for the up and coming release will be about as pleasant as drafting a ten-part executive report outlining five recommendations for business model improvement. I guess this is where my lauded education will make or break me… About damn time I put the worthless thing to good use, I guess.
I have decided that writing an author bio is as painful as writing a synopsis. Only, I've fewer words to do it with, no idea what will pique the audience's interest… and how many readers will pay it the slightest bit of mind, anyways? It's not like my life story is a riveting plot. I can't even go so far as to call it a stimulating screw. Or a locking washer.
Seriously. Who reads author bios. Who remembers what's in them, five minutes later? There's little about me that's all that interesting, for starters. I could make shit up… does anyone truly fact-checks these things? Maybe I should have a humor columnist ghost-write my bio for me.
"Make them laugh, in a 'Red Green Show' meets 'Princess Bride' clusterfuck kinda way."
Because really. When it comes to this whole authorship thing, I have about as much of an idea of what I'm doing as Red Green does. 'Gimme duckkie tape, aikken fix it, eh.'
Everyone knows duct tape fixes everything.
…You should see my keyboard.